What do u think of my song i wrote? IT'S ABOUT A GUY LEAVING, PLZ ANSWER?

Song called: The morning you weren’t there





Id wake up in the morning thinking you were there


But I’d look around and all I see is that teddy bear


The one you gave me on Valentines Day


The one that opens its mouth and you hear it say,


I love you with all my heart and soul


I won’t ever let you go, as without you I’m not whole





Chorus


Every morning I would wake up and get out of bed


I’d usually see you, but now it’s all in my head


That morning you left and walked out of the door


Was a morning that will be no more?





I’d go downstairs to eat, but there was no yummy smell


Usually there would be something terrific, which you’d tell


But this time I looked around and the kitchen was empty


No smell, no food, and no love it doesn’t make me happy


I boiled the water to make 2 cups of tea


I tossed the pancakes, and waited for thee





Chorus





I ate my pancakes all alone and just talked to myself


I kept thinking, was it the love we felt


The door bell rang, and I knew it was you


I didn’t have to think anything through


I walked to the door and all you said was hi


I just shut the door as couldn’t bare to say goodbye











What do u think?

What do u think of my song i wrote? IT'S ABOUT A GUY LEAVING, PLZ ANSWER?
sound good


catchy


post youtube that will show him


lol
Reply:Its good ... I praise your efforts
Reply:Great, not a bad effort, especially if its your first go. Now you'll just need to make a tune to go with it lol Remember though, songs don't always have to rhyme. It sounds better sometimes but not always.
Reply:It is great........
Reply:=/ FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE IM SPEECHLESS
Reply:oh honey that's beautiful and very emotional...i really try to write poems but i can't....lucky u...keep trying and u'll get better and better....


wish u luck dear
Reply:all the time your songs about heartbreak and nothing else you gotta try something new there's so much heartbreak and pain theme in your lyrics,am feeling you for all the lyrics you put out here but then add some sugar.where can i get online to listen to your songs sometimes i try so hard to add melodies to your lyrics.if you only write lyrics then try adding some taste to them as in music i once did something to your cant erase you and let you go i dont know if you will be interested in working with me though it your work i cant use it without your permit hope we co write sometime.
Reply:its very emotional.


i love it.i think its great.but add a little more to it= }


i'd DEFENETELY listen to your songs when i feel down.


Good Luck=]